I don’t usually celebrate my birthdays with parties. I may do something quiet and meaningful. But when you turn 50, family and friends do become fierce in their love and can overpower any attempts to let it pass quietly. I want to share what some of them did that specifically made me feel so deeply blessed and the kind of gifts that are priceless. There were no expensive presents, venue, or anything.
One friend secretly contacted another a year before my birthday and started organising a surprise gathering. I entered one of their homes and a bunch of friends from different parts of my life were there.
They had a vegan feast cooked, and tablecloth that had an Indonesia feel because they know I love Bali. They ordered a vegan cake. They each wrote me a letter, sharing my impact on their life. It felt like reading eulogy letters. It was in a jewel box and the letters were like true jewels.
Here are some excerpts from a few.
I really felt so grateful to learn that just being present in the moment with my friends touched their lives.
I love connecting people and they had given me the gift of coming together. They laughed and connected on things that really mattered. There was magic in the air that night and we could all feel it.
Love Boomerangs Back
The person who initiated the letter-writing is Daffy (from our team) who has a website on this. When Daffy’s mother was dying she asked if I could come up with questions as prompts to help her write a letter to her mother. After her mother died, she created this website when she was part of a friendship- cell I initiated. And finally, I received letters with the very prompts I had offered Daffy. It was like Life telling me on my 50th –
What you put out comes back in ways you cannot imagine.
I do not serve for this reason. I serve because I feel called to by my heart. But when these things do happen, the magic is something to behold.
Family
And my extended family shocked me. They don’t usually express in the way they did that day. I felt like I was listening to eulogy-speeches. Here are parts:
“You were there when my dog was dying. Without your presence, we would have been shattered.”
“You were there to help me remove my contact lenses from my eyes when I was too afraid to.”
“..she goes for the intangibles”
“Without saying anything much, she can influence (she gave the example of how my mum quit meat a year after I did in 1990 though I did not invite her to)…she has faced many challenges but never gives up. I admire her for her positivity, perseverance and simply giving, giving, giving to society.
They gave specifics, not general statements. I just listened quietly on things I had long forgotten doing. I didn’t even know they noticed these things in me and remembered it. It felt like my life flashing before my eyes, like some sacred, surreal experience.
My little niece made me a slideshow with photos of me through the years. And a quiz about me for the family to respond to, and was MC for the whole event. I was so moved!
Another relative arranged flowers and left this note which touched me, for I do my best to witness beauty in others.
Another friend had a pottery exhibition and I visited it with my migrant worker advocate friend. She sent me this text below.
I was so moved for she knew me so well!! It was the same charity that allowed me to speak with migrant workers in their care which then led me to start me on my journey to move into employee wellbeing. So it was very meaningful for me.
What I was grateful for was the thought and heart that went into all everyone did. I am not into material gifts though I really did appreciate what some of them bought (symbolic, meaningful items, health snacks etc). They knew what I valued and gave me an experience of that. I was alive for my eulogies. If I died then, I would die feeling loved. And with the fulfilment of having served lives around me in quiet ways I had forgotten but mattered to people.
How can you celebrate the people in your life in ways meaningful to them?
How can you witness the beauty in others and let them know?
How can your gift have your heart in it so it truly touches the heart of the recipient?
What is the legacy you are leaving in people’s hearts everyday?