My higher purpose friends are some of the greatest jewels in my life. They are my close experience of goodness in the world; we enjoy mutual support; we keep each other on a higher, deeper path.
Some have expressed to me great difficulty in drawing in such friends. “Where do you meet such people? How do you find them?” I am sometimes asked. They are my inspiration to write this.
Firstly, I’ll share what “higher purpose friends” means to me. These are friends who
- inspire me as they embody inner wealth qualities. They have or are learning to build a deeper connection to themselves, others and life, and embody presence, love, service and growth, and are interested in cultivating wisdom.
- are humble and interested in learning and growing with me so we are supporting each other to becoming wiser, better versions of ourselves and of greater service to our world.
- can speak their heart’s truths and whose non-judging nature inspires that from others too. We are comfortable with vulnerability as much as we each seek. We can rest into the warm comfort of our hearts in each other’s presence.
- care about each others’ holistic wellbeing.
This is what has helped me discover them. Trust your own intuition and wisdom.
- How much do you want it?
Time is limited. Who I surround myself with is a high priority for me. Are we positively affecting each other so we have a more positive effect in our world? I invest time and attention in seeking out and tending to higher purpose friendships. My heart’s radar is switched on, usually sensing how I feel with people and connecting to qualities I admire.
2. Are you walking the Love, Service, Growth Pathways?
Doing my best to walk these pathways has helped me draw in people who also do. Otherwise, as much as I seek to be around them, they may not reciprocate that. I’ve learned that to find a higher purpose friend, it helps to become one. The more inner work I have done to heal myself and grow, the more my friendship landscape has changed. Some fall away; others emerge out of nowhere or move from the side to the centre.
3. Where is there alignment with Love, Service and Growth pathways?
I turn up at events and spaces where there is an emphasis on wisdom, the greater good as well as inner transformation. Working on the greater good and inner transformation is also part of my work so I get to meet people who also resonate with such values. I try out communities which claim to have certain values and stick around if they seem to be the real deal.
But please do not discount any other spaces – off-line or online. This person can turn up anywhere. Be present where you are. Observe with your heart.
4. How can you identify them?
We can only identify them if we are very present and paying attention. Some have a gentler, more subtle presence so we’ll be missing out if we are looking for blinking neon lights pointing at them.
When I connect with someone, I notice how I feel during and after the encounter. If I feel any of the following, I do my best to continue the connection:
- A feeling of home and familiarity
- Connected in a deeper way
- Listened to deeply
- Safer to be vulnerable than I might usually be with a stranger
- Trusted to listen to their vulnerability
- Appreciated
- Served, often in personalised ways (it could be in very small ways) or gracefully open to be served by me
- Empathised with
- Illuminated, Inspired, Enlightened, Elevated
- Energised, Nourished, Enriched
Source of images: live-inspired.com
For this to happen, we need to be tuned it to how we are feeling within and in our bodies. If we are moving too fast in life and don’t pay attention to what happens with us internally, we may lose a gem of a friend.
5. Which connectors are aligned with Love, Service and Growth?
There are people who walk the pathways who, for a variety of reasons, may not themselves end up becoming close friends with you. However they may introduce you to their friends and networks, which may include great teachers related to the pathways, healers, communities. Have them in your orbit in whatever way that works. Subscribe to their social media/lists/just reach out and connect etc.
6. How will you nurture this relationship?
Discovering a potential higher purpose friend is one thing. It takes attention and time to grow and deepen the connection. And it takes both parties.
Meeting regularly with a semi-structured container can help. In such gatherings (where people are fully present and away from devices), I have found it useful to create a psychologically safe, and life-affirming space to:
- converse for depth and be authentic and vulnerable
- support and encourage each other’s efforts to be greater service
- celebrate victories, grieve attempts that didn’t work out and learn from them
- support each other through challenges – empathise, listen deeply, coach
- hold a kind, clear mirror to each other and support each other’s growth
- enable each other to feel deeply seen, heard, appreciated and valued
- support each other’s wellbeing
Having one such friend can feel like a miracle. We can keep growing and being vigilant, open and receptive at the heart level in case we are so fortunate to have the next one to appear – and they may appear in the most unlikely places at the most unlikely time.
We have started seeding and growing the ideas of micro-community with clients, and are also currently exploring a regular community process suitable for workplaces. Get in touch if you’d like to learn more.
“What you seek is seeking you.” – Rumi