How did we end up here?
Wars, environmental destruction, mental health issues, relationship breakdown, technology use that has outpaced our wisdom, large scale animal suffering …it’s an endless list.
If we really dig deep, what are the roots?
I have felt called to go on this enquiry and try to serve from closer to the roots over decades. My latest reflection arising from the death of a young woman led to our current iteration as Inner Wealth. Before you read further, I invite you to come up with your own answers because each of us has a different lens and language that is precious:
What is one wound in our world that pains you most? What impact does this have? Why is this wound here? And why does that happen? And why does that happen? Keep asking yourself “why” till you get to a root that lands deeply for you personally. There, you may find seeds of service that can feel deeply aligned from within.
I’d also like to share with you an excerpt from an article by Ash Buchanan, a participatory action researcher who is studying a comprehensive view of mindset psychology based on the collective wisdom of the field of mindset:
“Some people single out mindset as being a root cause behind many of the local and global problems we face in the world today, such as social injustice and climate change. However, my research revealed that the mindsets that are associated with our local and global problems are symptoms, not root causes. Blaming mindsets for their role in local and global problems, is like blaming a field of lettuces for not growing well. I found that the real root cause of our local and global problems is the conditions or context we are co-shaping alongside one another in our shared life space. I also found that intervening on the level of conditions in a context-sensitive way is one of the highest points of leverage we have for supporting organic mindset shifts, and for nurturing profound personal and systems change.“
I have allowed my mind to explore the various answers that have emerged for me, which have supported me and our work. It’s an imperfect but important enquiry for me and I share it in that spirit. Also, some of what I share may be part of a deep web of causes though not the deepest roots.
This is an opinion piece. And not specifically focused on any one country. I also don’t list solutions or the many amazing individuals and organisations already addressing such issues all around the world. Some are listed in our resource page. I want to offer this to people who feel called to go on this enquiry for our own sense and meaning-making, and reflection on what this means for our own contributions based on our unique gifts, story and resources.
We can sit with what disturbs us and make space for what comes out from this in our own lives. And also know what we see as problems out there in the world may sometimes have some form within us and is waiting to be healed within each of us.
OUR WOUNDS AND PERSONAL HEALING
There is insufficient attention paid to the importance of personal healing from trauma, unhealthy aspects of the ego or limiting beliefs in our subconscious mind – which every human being has.
So a childhood trauma that happened and resulted in a subconscious belief like “I am not enough” can lead to that person becoming a high-level leader who grasps for more and more power, status and money at the cost of their own and others’ wellbeing. So when someone says “money is the root of all evil”, I believe we can go deeper.
Researcher and author of “The High Price of Materialism”, Professor Tim Kasser says the more people hold materialistic values, the more depressed, anxious and more fear-prone they are; the more conflicted relationships they have and the less they care about the environment or score on empathy: “…materialistic values are not only bad for people’s own well-being, but they lead people to behave in ways which are bad for other people’s well-being, as well as bad for the well-being of other species and future generations. It’s a pretty damaging set of values at multiple levels according to both our research and the research of others.”
And what drives that, according to him?
Insecurity.
There is very little awareness on the importance of dealing with issues at the subconscious and unconscious mind for deeper, sustainable change. What we do not heal in ourselves gets transmitted to others through our words and actions. This video on the subconscious mind, trauma and transformation, featuring our collaborator, Kartika Alexandra is a powerful watch as Kartika has worked with thousands as a clinical trauma specialist and integrative hypnotherapist and speaks from this grounded experience. It is not only helpful to ourselves but also to our children as we learn how to not cause harm that can ripple out in many directions. If you have time limitations, watch from time-stamp 20:41 to 26:46.
When we see our wounds and how most of us have not been effectively educated in how to heal ourselves or prevent further harm to ourselves, we can approach ourselves and others with compassion rather than judgement. As humans, we are beautiful and we are beautifully flawed. And we can always grow and heal ourselves.
PERSONAL WOUNDING AND NOISY EGOS, SCALED UP
While personal healing is important for all, when those in leadership do not heal themselves, many lives may suffer through their decisions and actions. Yet this is not given sufficient attention when selecting or developing leaders. We may reward those who may be strong in bringing in results or in technical skills or who have a loud, charismatic presence but who may be triggering collateral damage in terms of harm to life because they are operating from unhealed wounds, noisy egos and negative beliefs.
In the chapter, “The Quiet Ego: Concept, Measurement and Wellbeing” (2017), in “The Happy Mind”, Heidi Wayment and Jack Bauer write:
“…the noisy ego is characterized by excessive self-focus and heightened sense of self-importance, often accompanied by a clamoring for attention, approval, or other such validations of one’s worth. A noisy ego can increase perceptions of threat, exacerbate defensiveness, and create problems for the self and others over time (Wayment & Bauer, 2008).”
When egos are unchecked, they can cause major problems. I attended a talk by an in-demand corporate consultant who said the corporate world is full of egos and they want to look good and we need to remember this as their external collaborators. I remember this not so much to flow with it but to nurture a different kind of leader through our work – Big hearts, small, quiet egos to touch more lives positively.
LOVE IS MADE THE OUTCAST
The most important and transformational force in the world, Love, is often shut out of the most powerful, traditional institutions in everyday society – Leadership, Workplaces and Education. Its mere name can be taboo in such spaces. And it often gets conflated with romantic love. What I mean when I speak of Love is universal unconditional love, a deep care about the wellbeing of our fellow sentient beings – wanting them not to suffer, to be well, to appreciate their beauty and unique life-force. We know love is important. It is a fundamental need. Spiritual teachers and researchers who study the good life point that way. We know love is important but we do not practise it consistently. We may compartmentalise our lives and ourselves, rationalising our behaviours.
The late psychiatrist and death and dying expert, Dr Elisabeth Kubler Ross who worked with dying patients said: “The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.”
If we don’t experience love in the places we most spend time in, and reserve it only for our families, it seems we are robbing ourselves of opportunities to grow in this most essential quality for a human to embody. And why do we do this? Trauma expert Dr Gabor Mate says in “Damaged Leaders Rule the World”:
“…for this society to function it has to separate the soul from the body because we wouldn’t treat people the way we do if they had souls. …rationalism means cutting off from the heart.”
But what kind of society is this we have created?
“My soul has dried up”.
This is the kind of comment we have received from some clients.
We also have heard stories from some employees over more than a decade of languishing instead of flourishing at work.
Here’s something one of my young, school-going students shared which I scribed:
And without love, our soul dries up.
The mental health crisis we face now is partly, I believe, due to the lack of love in leadership and organisational culture.
We have many sophisticated terms and frameworks when it comes to speaking about what to do in organisations but what’s missing is more simple and fundamental – The VIBRANT LOVING HEART.
LOVE AND POWER LIE DISCONNECTED
Linked to the earlier point, love and power do not coexist enough. There are those with financial and positional power but have not developed their heart’s qualities of love, compassion, humility. The harm that flows from this group can be huge because their decisions and actions touch countless lives.
Then there are those who have qualities such as love who have not stepped into their inner power to have greater influence. So the good they could do is limited. There are simply insufficient servant leaders in power.
Both these groups face their own inner blocks, wounds and struggles to embody both love and inner power. They need compassionate and skilful support, not judgement.
“Power without love is reckless and abusive and love without power is sentimental and anemic… This collision of immoral power and powerless morality constitute the major crisis of our time.”- Martin Luther King
Do any of these resonate more? What could you do about it in yourself and your own sphere of influence? What other roots can you think of?
Part 2 will be out in April. Till then, I invite you to carry this enquiry if you wish, and see where it takes you.
Vadivu Govind