We needed to take a boat out to sea to scatter my dad’s ashes. I had been seasick before and wanted the focus to be on the ash scattering rather than others having to attend to me. I was handling funeral arrangements and from death to ash scattering was less than 48 hours. So I didn’t have space to think about seasickness pills. So I thought it would be wise not go out to sea.
While we were moving the ashes from the crematorium to the sea, the undertaker, Shah, and I struck up a conversation in the van. I felt authentically connected with him. He was down-to-to-earth and could flow with the conversation regardless of where it went.
We talked about the boat and he said, “If you don’t want to, you don’t need to.” I said I wanted to and mentioned my seasickness. He was quiet, then he said, “Do you have sweets?” I didn’t and he offered me sweets. These tiny sweets gave me a disproportionate amount of confidence.
The sweets were just an extension of the connection with him which was a secure base for me to stretch out of my comfort zone. He was showing qualities of a secure base leader.
So we left to the boat. But I left my bag in the van and the sweets were in it. Still, I managed to take the boat out and do what was needed.
I told Shah that his kind presence and bond with me had given me the ability to just be out there.
This was one of the various acts of thoughtful service we experienced from the company. I wrote this Google Review (below) which the company appreciated alot. We amplify good in the world when we appreciate with specificity and depth.
At the same time, I have experienced five staff from various companies who, when I say “My dad has passed away” and then proceed to ask for support to settle his matters, do not say “I’m sorry for your loss”. They just carry on with the task. This level of being transactional is a sign of disconnection from hearts.
I was talking to someone who wants to move to the nonprofit sector and wants to have nothing to do with the profit sector as the thinking was that for-profits are not doing good. While I supported her personal choice, I invited her to consider that good happens and is needed everywhere, including in profit-based companies.
What we sell; how we sell; how we treat our customers, employees, vendors, those in our supply chain can all be life-affirming or harmful. This is the first Corporate Social Responsibility to be done. Giving to charities is good but it doesn’t replace what leaders can do everyday for the many lives entrusted in their care under their own roofs by creating a culture of care.
And whatever organisation we are in and in whatever role, we are in a position to serve with a caring heart. And those who receive that are more likely to do the same to others. It continues to ripple out to touch many lives we cannot see.